If you’ve been single for a while, it’s pretty natural to want to change that, to find someone to share a relationship
with. What might seem less natural, however, is that really wanting to
be in a relationship might just be the one thing that stops you from
ever finding one.
Let’s take a second to think about that properly. I’m talking about
when you reach the state when you feel that you need to be in a
relationship, or that being in a relationship will fix a lot of other
problems in your life. Maybe you’ve been single for months, or years, or
maybe the opposite – you start new relationships as soon as old ones
end, never letting yourself stay single for long. Either way, you might
be suffering from the same problem: you’re not happy being single.
Being unhappy to be single might seem natural and sensible enough to
some, but I’m going to try to explain why that’s mistaken. I’ll also
explain how this affects more than just your happiness while you’re on
your own – it can have a detrimental effect on your ability to start
relationships, and your ability to make them last after they have
started.
Long story short: If you hate being single or think a relationship
would be some magical cure-all, then you’re just likely to stay single
even longer, and will struggle to form meaningful, long-lasting
relationships.
So what’s wrong with wanting a relationship anyway?
There’s nothing in itself wrong with wanting a relationship,
especially these days, when the drive to find a partner has been the
basis of a major plot point in most films and TV shows over the years.
Pop culture constantly sends us the message that it’s better to be in
a couple than not, that you’ll be happier in a couple, and even that
you’re somehow a failure if you’re single.
Finding a girlfriend has become a sign of success as a man, another
accomplishment along the lines of a well-paid job or a decent apartment.
And this is where the problem starts: getting a girlfriend stops being a
personal choice, something that might suit different people at
different times, or even not at all for some.
Instead, those who are single are deficient, they’ve failed at some task that others have succeeded at…
No comments:
Post a Comment